An open letter to straight cis liberals

Dear Straight Cis* Liberals,

I address you as liberals because that is what you call yourselves. When I say liberals, I mean those of you who HAVE NOTHING AGAINST QUEERS. At all. Not even a little bit. And your reasons for opposing gay marriage are completely rational.

"Why do gays have to shove their sexuality in everyone's face?"

When was the last time you switched on a TV or opened a magazine or watched a movie or listened to a pop song? And you think gay sexuality is what's being shoved in your face? Straights don't have Pride parades, but that's because you don't need them -- you have TV and billboards to proclaim your straight pride for you.

"Don't they know that nobody cares what gays do in bed?"

LGBTQ rights are not about what gays do in bed. They're about LGBTQ people having rights, and being treated with a little respect. Gays aren't talking about their sex, you are.

"Keep your head down and you won't get any trouble"

Do you keep your head down? Do you hide your relationships from your friends and family and colleagues and keep your mouth shut when you get treated like shit? I didn't think so.

"I don't mind gays. I just don't like effeminate men/masculine women."

Two things: firstly, you're a falling back on stereotypes, so clearly you do mind gays. And secondly: what the hell is wrong with a man being "effeminate" or a woman being "masculine"?

"Being gay/trans is a choice."

SO?? You chose your religion (or lack thereof), and how to vote, and who to date -- should it be legal to discriminate on the basis of those things because they're choices? Think about it: what would you say if Christian marriages stopped being legal because Christianity is a choice? Or if it was legal to refuse medical services to Republicans?

"You're too young to know that you are gay/bi/trans."

You mean the same way that you're too young to know that you're straight and cis?

"Transsexuality is medical consumerism for the confused."

How would you know? As we say, I'm queer -- you're confused.

"Jokes about gays/transpeople/intersex people are funny. Can't you take a joke?"

Grow the fuck up. Try replacing the queerness in the joke with, say, race. Still laughing?

"Oh yeah, you're experimenting"

No. I'm queer, get over it. Have the decency to occasionally take me seriously.

"It's fine for people to be gay/trans. But it's different when it's your own kid." or "I don't mind gays, as long as they're not in my face." or "Some of my best friends are gay/trans." or "Some of my best fucks friends have been bisexuals!"

This does not make you sound any less of an asshole.

"If I stand up for gay rights, people will think I'm gay."

If people thinking you're gay is what's stopping you, it's because you think that's a bad thing, which means that you think being gay is a bad thing, so obviously your "standing up for gay rights" isn't genuine anyway. So however much you may insist that you're pro equality deep down inside, you're just a shithead.

"How dare you accuse me of having prejudices?!"

Get over it. I'm not going to be soft on your over-privileged ignorance jsut because you don't like the labels of homophobe or transphobe or bigot. You are not necessarily entitled to have reality made all fluffy and pink for the sake of your comfort. Genuinely supporting the rights of queer and trans people means questioning your priviledge, confronting your ick-factors, and genuinely respecting LGBTQ people.

I'm also not interested in your theories about gayness or transness, unless they're grounded in scientific evidence (and even then, my interest is limited). If you're not gay or trans, it is not ok for you to judge queerness or the needs of the queer community. Respecting gay rights means that you THINK about what you're saying and what's being said to you. It does not mean judging and dismissing things that you do not understand, or objectifying people whose identifications and attractions you do not understand.

And you know what? I am not going to disclaim this post (or any other) with "Of course, not all cis straight people are like this" because if you're not homophobic or transphobic, then you'll know that not all cis straight people are like this because you'll know that you are not like this, so you won't have gotten offended because you will have been nodding in agreement as you read this.

The rest of you need to do some thinking.

--IP

*Cis (short for cisgendered or cissexual) describes a person whose gender matches his or her chromosomal sex and anatomy.

Technorati tags: gay rights, LGBTQ, Transgender, homophobia